troubled):

thursday-
lessons in school were BORING! or maybe i was just too tired.
lakshmi: urgh, i'm so sleepy.. im falling asleep
dae cheol: sleep lah
lakshmi: dun want, later she scold me =X
dae cheol: won't one la
lakshmi: dun wanttt=X
dae cheol: then tell her you want to go toilet
lakshmi: dun want, later she scold me
dae cheol: aiyo wun one la, she wont scold just go and ask her
lakshmi: dun want, recess over not even 1 hour ago.. later she scold me.. dun want...

the same thing happened during physics too, except for this time i worried that mr lee might say ' its goin to be lunch break soon..'

&i realise i'm so scared of teachers' scoldings that i fear doing things. this is only one example.

and looking back, i remember there's only one teacher i didnt fear.mrs amba. my primary school tamil teacher(: or maybe i was a little too young then?=X like when i was in primary one, i used to be a bit playful (yet quiet. contradicting but true!) like, i remember, there was once i was talking when she said don't talk. (not only me la, so many of us!) then she was like kinda 'scolding' us. everyone was like no reaction but i was SMILING! then she said, "aiya, scold you also no use one la.. you smile smile only.." (:
but i remember in primary four, i forgot to sign my tamil exam papers and nearly on the verge of crying when i told her i forgot to sign. thn she said, " don't worry it's okay. you always bring your things.. one time forget, its okay(: "
and even today, i get so scared when i forget to bring my things/ do my homework (which i rarely do forget) =X

ohwell, and i got so tired during physics lesson too):
chemistry was.. okay..
after school, had coh, thn settling cookie stuffs with a few guides..
back home and followed mummy to temple.


ohdear, the feeling of being troubled starts to show.
i'm not the type who feels upset easily.
and so, if now i am, then its for real.


22sec1s for Girl Guides try out!*shocked*

FRIDAY
my most awaited day of the weeeeek! my fundayy!(:
and as mr simon said, "uniformed groups make up 55% of Henderson!" :D
& for today's cca, we had 22 sec 1s! wow, we never expected such a big number!:D
pt was great, girl guides has unity!(: well done!
gave out some prof badges and then recess.
and for the rest of the time we had practiced mainly for thinking day and speech day. i'm so looking forward for thinking day!=D
had CNY concert. my prefect duty was at the front door. urgh, and from that angle, couldnt even see a thing la. my one hour spent looking at students enjoying-.- and then the wind keeps blowing that my hand had to be holding the door all the time.

after school, went to complete the banner. yay! it's finally done!(:
had lunch. and then cleared and tidied the mess-ed girl guides room.
thn did cookie counting stuffs. you really need a good brain for it;
the school was rather quiet, left at 6plus.

mummy say i'll start my maths tuition at jurong east tmr! but, i've not even started emaths in school yet! ohno?

i've got homework. just like the usual weekends' homework. & if i complete them in this weekend, i'll have spare time on monday and tuesday!(:

& as days pass, i feel more troubled and puzzled=X
mainly because of 3 people.
like, why are your behviours so contradicting to your words?
& i just don't see why all 3 things happen at the same time, but there's no linK!
1. i'm pissed and irritated with you! like, you have nothing better to do? or why are you so jealous?
2. i'm pissed and irritated with you! 'sorry' is a word that comes useless when said by you. I We don't have to give in to you everytime. else, what are you for?
3. confused. and you kept me wondering over all the possibilities.
sighh.

pics,

 

I must be strong
And carry on,
Cause I know I don't belong
here in -